Disaster! Calamity!

My boyfriend has joined Facebook!

Well, that needs a little rewording.

Mr Right Now (I just coined that, and I think it sums it all up nicely) isn't *technically* my boyfriend - he's someone I've been dating for a while after meeting on a month-long course and embarking on a very romantic whirlwind affair that neither of us wanted to end. But given the distance - he lives in an "undisclosed" country on the African continent! - and his generally cautious nature, we are taking things slowly and not jumping into a relationship. And so far it's working out brilliantly.

He's also not just joining Facebook. He's actually rejoining it after deactivating his account for a time.

So, Someone I'm dating has just rejoined Facebook!
Not a big deal, right?
WRONG.

Mr Right Now signed off Facebook for good (supposedly) during the longest spell without contact we've had so far - only about two weeks, but it seemed like an eternity. And then suddenly, in a heart-stopping moment, I found that he wasn't on my friends list anymore. Of course I panicked. I didn't know what it meant! To this day I still don't... when contact resumed, it never occurred to me to ask. Because in the end, it wasn't important.

But I got used to it. And for someone with slightly over-analytical tendencies, it proved to be a wonderful thing. I couldn't check his page to see if any other girl had posted on it - there were no photos for me to trawl through obsessively - and I wasn't tempted to leave cryptic messages to stake my claim upon his wall. What's more, the independence suited us well. It built up trust. It gave us necessary space. What I hear about his life, I hear directly from him, by email or by phone - and now I realise that I liked it that way.

I know Mr Right Now has a life when he isn't with me, but I don't want to find out about it from a mini-feed. It feels like voyeuristic prying, and it doesn't suit our relationship at all. Because of the way things are with us - him there, me here, contact intermittent but steady, and affections still as ardent as ever - having our own lives is really important. And I know my flaws - having privacy is equally crucial because the last thing something under so much strain from unavoidable difficulties needs is jealousy.

So, I've looked through his photo albums, and I've glanced over his wall. And then I left it well alone. This tentative (and not official!) relationship is something really special, and the way we're doing it just works: he has his life, and I have mine, and as far as I'm concerned, that's all I need to know.

The contingency plan:
1. I will not visit his profile page
2. I will not check his photos - I have my own pictures of him!
3. I will not have a Facebook relationship. I'd rather have what we have already - a real one.

Welcome back everyone. CinnamonPine xx